"A Texas pastor is offering more than $2 million worth of giveaways to people who attend Easter worship services this Sunday," reports AP.

According to AP: 

Rev. Bil Cornelius is senior pastor of Bay Area Fellowship Church, which meets at seven locations in and around Corpus Christi. He says every individual or family will receive $300 in gift certificates from local businesses, and drawings will be held at every service to give away cars, flat-screen TVs, laptop computers, and furniture. . . .

"It's really not a bribe," [Cornelius] explains. "It's more of a giant illustration."

In Other Words, Gimme That Old Time Marketing: If you can just out-Oprah Oprah (known for her giveaways), then Christianity must be true, worthy of commitment, people will come to your show, and the gospel of giveaways shall be preached unto the ends of the earth. 

And, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, the inside word at "Spirit Buzz" has it that next week the Church of Ed Sullivan will present The Senior Men's Choir rapping their latest hit, "Jesus Is My Girlfriend." (By the way, 780,000 souls made "decisions for Christ" during the Senior Men's most recent 3-week tour around the world, as indicated by increased mailing lists and other fundraising dynamics.)

Plus: A famed radio and Christian worldview "thinker" with a stirring life story will personally share how you can have your very own quiet times with him. That's right. Join in as he reads via Jumbotron from "his" newest book (the 38th from this gifted modern prophet who has talked -- and prayed -- with the president), written by a well-paid, dedicated staff mining work done by contract writers over the years, other conference speakers who need him to help sell their books, and by others you've never heard of and never will (as the Lord blesses).

And, my friends, don't believe all those distractions about evangelicals all too comfortable with President George W. Bush to critique him biblically and thereby helping open the door to King Barack Obama of the Church of the Living Constitution. Yes, my nuanced friends, kill two birds with one stone: Resist Satanic distractions and get a free book in the presence of a humble Christan celebrity author (so to speak).

And remember: It's not a bribe, it's not fleshly marketing, and it's "not aping the world." We're too sincere for that, and maybe doubters ought to reexamine their prayer life and generally get onboard with the program. Lest we have a problem.

Please check Comcast or your local cable provider for service times and broadcasts directly into the loving convenience of your very own livingroom.

Related
Francis Schaeffer, the Religious Right, Cultural Decline, and Aping the World